Hear that? Close your eyes. Listen. It’s the house in silence. [Warning: this contains swear words] No screaming or shouting or Paw Bloody Patrol or the precociousness of Sophie the Fucking First. Nothing. Just the fans whirring, maybe a car zooming past outside or a lorikeet chirping. Which is an awful long way from this … Continue reading First Day of School and a Review of Hand of Fatima
Oh the holidays- time for togetherness and family, friends and good times. It all starts off quite well until about Day 4 when the bloating and the sunburn and the odd hangover of note turns that blessed time into a foray of snippiness and rolled eyes behind pissed off backs. Forget racist/sexist/homophobic comments or adults … Continue reading 12 Ways to Piss Off Everyone You’ve Ever Known Over the Holiday Season.
Where have you been Melinda? Usually you post 600 sub-par words on some random crap quite regularly but you have deviated from this predictable pattern. Why so, delicate flower? Why so? Here's why: My daughter turned seven and decided to put 'masochistic dictator' onto her ever growing list of new found skills. She likes Shopkins and … Continue reading Shopkins Birthday Party Like A Boss
As a mum who can be in turn lazy and highly organised, I’ve come across a few ingenious ways to stay sane at dinner time when I’ve only got a few minutes to prepare before the lounge room explodes in a crying screaming toddler fight club. That delightful part of the Witching Hour when you … Continue reading The Best Bolognese Sauce for Organised and Lazy Mums.
My dear grandmother passed away last week. She was 95. She made us clothes, toys, biscuits, birthday cakes, crocheted blankets and ceramic ornaments I now treasure. We would stay with her almost every school holiday for at least a week; she taught us dirty nursery rhymes as we curled up on her bed of a morning and then … Continue reading Evelyn
I stood in the kitchen doing the dishes the other night when my husband looked over from the computer and said: “Wow. You’re really turning me on there.” What?? Finally! Here was the evidence that I need only be a dutiful cook and great at washing dishes for a man to find me sexy! Cosmopolitan … Continue reading The Great Sleepwear Conundrum of ’16
Warning: this post contains swear words and sarcasm. CLICK OUT NOW IF YOU DON'T LIKE SWEAR WORDS. And yes, I'm shouting there. I’ve been skiting lately on Instagram about how awesome I am now that my kids can ride bikes and we can ride bikes together and it’s so idyllic because we can ride bikes. … Continue reading How to teach your child to ride a bike in 7 steps.