First Day of School and a Review of Hand of Fatima

Hear that? Close your eyes. Listen. It’s the house in silence. [Warning: this contains swear words] No screaming or shouting or Paw Bloody Patrol or the precociousness of Sophie the Fucking First. Nothing. Just the fans whirring, maybe a car zooming past outside or a lorikeet chirping. Which is an awful long way from this  … Continue reading First Day of School and a Review of Hand of Fatima

Shopkins Birthday Party Like A Boss

Where have you been Melinda? Usually you post 600 sub-par words on some random crap quite regularly but you have deviated from this predictable pattern. Why so, delicate flower? Why so? Here's why: My daughter turned seven and decided to put 'masochistic dictator' onto her ever growing list of new found skills. She likes Shopkins and … Continue reading Shopkins Birthday Party Like A Boss

The Great Sleepwear Conundrum of ’16

I stood in the kitchen doing the dishes the other night when my husband looked over from the computer and said: “Wow. You’re really turning me on there.” What?? Finally! Here was the evidence that I need only be a dutiful cook and great at washing dishes for a man to find me sexy! Cosmopolitan … Continue reading The Great Sleepwear Conundrum of ’16

Getting older, needles and spilt milk

Warning: There are definitely swears in this post. I am in a real shit of a mood this week and it’s only Monday. That doesn’t bode well for the rest of the poor gits in my family. There are a number of contributing factors to this shittiness: my ability to keep the house even slightly hygienic … Continue reading Getting older, needles and spilt milk

Help- I’m drowning in a puddle of work.

Warning: This post contains the odd swear word. Because I'm talking about work. I’ve recently re-entered the world of work and I’m going to be pretty honest- I’m not doing that great at it. A while ago I wrote a post about the fact that I had too many choices as a privileged, educated woman … Continue reading Help- I’m drowning in a puddle of work.

Boys are beautiful despite the fart jokes

I had three brothers and grew up on a farm which involved a lot of mud, cubby (fort) making and cow shit throwing. It was idyllic even with all that masticated grass getting around in your hair. I was called a tomboy. I wore shorts almost exclusively. My brothers didn’t leave me out of their … Continue reading Boys are beautiful despite the fart jokes

7 reasons why I lie to my children on a daily basis.

  White lies. Big lies. Blow your mind lies. I’ve told them all and no, I’m not a pathological liar: just a Mum trying not to lose her mind. Here’s why I do it: Nutrition and Health There’s so many reasons why I lie to my children about food it could be a whole other … Continue reading 7 reasons why I lie to my children on a daily basis.