Just go to sleep so I can Game of Thrones.

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{Warning- this has the odd swear}

My husband and I watch Game of Thrones together. It is one of the rare series on TV we actually really agree on watching.  By that I mean we urge the other to hurry up so we can start watching rather than the “You start, I’ll be there once I take my manky toenail polish off” (Friday night rugby union game) or the “Yeah no… my brain is bleeding just thinking about watching that” (Season 32 of Survivor). Our tastes differ quite remarkably but we each make some concessions and try not to make continuous derisive comments on the other’s preferred show.

So when a series comes along that we both enjoy and love watching, well th
at’s kind of special. Look, I wouldn’t say that Monday nights have become a pseudo date night where we curl up on the couch and cuddle while eating a box of Lindt Lindor balls. Ha! We’ve got children. Who won’t go the fuck to sleep.

 

Game of Thrones is addictive. It’s full of sex and violence and swear words and twists and turns and things happen to main characters that are just plain wrong and broken. We love it. But because it’s full of all those things it’s really inappropriate for our children, who are both under the age of six, to watch. At all. I don’t really feel comfortable with them even listening to it as they drift off to sleep. Even when Daenerys is speaking Dothraki and you have to read the subtitles to understand because someone might just get a shit load of piping hot gold chucked on their head etc etc. It’s not right for young kiddlewinks WHO SHOULD BE IN BED ASLEEP!

So we record the episode with the intention of watching it once they are asleep. But last night the little turd-burglars simply wouldn’t and instead felt they could walk out of their bedrooms willy nilly and come talk to us about how their pillows are hot and clearly, that ain’t going to work for them: could we quickly come and work out some cooling system for the pillows please?

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There was that conversation we had about whether fish sleep with their mouths open or shut, about the aeroplane-themed birthday party The Boetman wanted in two months’ time, about whether the Shopkins are happy in their paper envelope sleeping bags… On and on in that inane way small children have of conversing about nothing in particular. We employed the following strategies to little effect:

 

  1. Love

Stories + bedtime lullabies + long chats about aeroplanes + drinks of milk = sleep. Except they didn’t. Must buy more over priced Sleepy-Time bathwash in lavender. Maybe that’s what I missed? FML.

  1. Ignoring

Ignore it and it’ll go away. Sorry, might work for a pimple but doesn’t for three year olds jacked up on an afternoon nap- they’ll just cleverly draw you into a conversation the gist of which is to find out why you’re ignoring them.

 

  1. Shouting

I find that throwing the odd “GO TO SLEEP!!” in a half growl/ half yell down the hallway in their general direction makes me feel a bit better. But it doesn’t work. They just lull you into a short and premature feeling of success that they might be asleep before starting up on the envelope sleeping bag theme again.

 

  1. Coercion

No kid gives two Giggle&Hoots about whether they’ll be tired for school/daycare tomorrow. That’s tomorrow stupid lady. Children are interested in the here and now and why the pillow is hot.

 

  1. Punishment

To be fair, this used to work for Sussie: I’d take her comforter (her blankie, a strip of disgusting torn material) away for about two minutes. Then give it back to her with threats of throwing it in the bin if she was awake when I came in to the room again. This strategy worked like magic. The Boetman? Not so much. In fact, apart from a half-hearted and brief cry, not at all.

Here’s what did work:

  1. Giving in.

The Boetman was given 10 minutes of play time in his room. Then we turned the light out and waited for him to go to sleep (at 9pm WTF??). Sussie had passed out half an hour before.

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So as you can imagine, by the time those time-wasters had finally fallen asleep there wasn’t much desire for hand-holding and feeding each other chocolates on the couch. I’d say the feeling was more just-bloody-well-hit-play-so-we-can-watch-this-damn-thing- Oh-WTF-you’re-doing-it-with-the-wrong-remote-JUST-PRESS-PLAY!!  And then it was one of those episodes where apart from the odd ‘C yoU Next Tuesday’ sailor language, we got nothing more than random plot development. It’s necessary, but still, where are the group fornication scenes or Roose Bolton doing something abhorrent other than just breathing?

We’ll have to wait until next week to see if we can cuddle on the couch without losing our collective shits about the kids going to sleep two hours later than usual…

Do you  and your partner agree on which shows to watch?

Do your children go to sleep when they’re supposed to?

Tyrion or Jaimie? Sansa or Arya? Chocolate or wine?

16 thoughts on “Just go to sleep so I can Game of Thrones.

  1. Almost never. Unless there is astounding cinematography, a great plot, and a fair bit of boob.

    Always. They are angels.

    Tyrion, Arya and wine flavoured chocolate or chocolate flavoured wine (whatever I can get my hands on really).

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  2. Tyrion and Arya for sure, although I haven’t watched the latest eps, so Sansa might be getting more interesting. Oh, I know what it’s like getting those kids to bed. Feels like it’s never going to happen!!

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  3. I’m not a GoT fan (sorry) but I do hear you on the struggle to get the kids to bed so you can finally watch something adulty. I hope next week’s episode is worth the wait!

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  4. I tried to watch Game Of Thrones, I made probably about 4 episodes in and gave up, I just couldn’t get into it. Everyone tells me to persist, that it does get better. Wait until your kids are teenagers, then you can’t get them to wake up! And they just take themselves off to bed early, love it!

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  5. I started watching GOT but I think I only got 3 seasons in {or maybe it was 2?}. And my inconsiderate partner is more than a whole series ahead of me now because he was watching it on his own without telling me so now I couldn’t be bothered catching up {plus I never have time because my 2yr old doesn’t go to bed until 10:30pm usually} #teamIBOT

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  6. I’m a few seasons behind but i don’t know if I want to watch them, since they deviate from the books so much,
    I do hate that kids do muck around every time you just need or want them to behave. It’s so frustrating.

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  7. I LOVE GoT (how good was last night?) but my husband can’t stand it. He hasn’t watched the earlier episodes and can’t understand how I like a show “full of horrible people who do horrible things to one another” My eldest caught wind of dragons being involved and occasionally tries to sneak out and watch. No way, mr Seven – back in bed!

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    1. It was so good! I can imagine there must be a bit of eye rolling going on in the background from husband while it’s on?! I’m not sure how I’ve even roped mine in- he usually hates this sort of thing!

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