Speaking of oversharing, The Duchess cooked dinner the other night for a bunch of ladies and as the cheeseboard was molested and the wine topped up, the topics of conversation twisted and turned in some pretty wrong directions.
Courtesy of realitytvgifs.com and http://www.tvguide.com/news/real-housewives-bad-parties-gifs/
There were all the usual mullings over day to day events, but amongst the more interesting topics were the following:
Brazilian waxing and why you MUST trim your 70s hairdo BEFORE wax is applied otherwise you’ll find yourself facing scissors and the absolute disdain of every staff member (because which beautician would keep that moment to themselves?) at your place of denuding business
Partners and their continuing uselessness or varying degrees of uselessness in completing anything of any kind of help or use in the household. In other words, a bitch session about the husbands which I always find to be very healing and cathartic.
Sex and the appropriateness of engaging in this activity right before you exercise. “Don’t” was the general consensus for various fairly disgusting reasons. (I think this is where we segwayed directly to hating on the menfolk).
Sharting (a fart that turns unwillingly into a poo) disasters- aren’t they all??- and how to recover from them like a Klassy Lady.
There were other things we talked and laughed and laughed about, but when I thought about it the next morning I realised that even with the gamut of intelligent, funny and thoughtful women at this dinner, the banter had steered inevitably to the more sordid of subject matters. A friend, Cam, had pointed out many years ago that it didn’t matter who you were at dinner with, conversation would always end up at Sex, Poo or Wee. Sex was definitely related to at least three of the above topics. Although if you get a group of parents of young children in one room then the poo and wee topic is almost always very well covered. Sex is touched upon but only in a very tired and half-hearted way and almost always ends badly at the new parent end of the spectrum.
What does everyone else talk about? Is Cam’s theory right or is this further evidence that I am simply the lowest common denominator in any social gathering? I’m almost afraid of the answer.